In this life, Oh my dear! You don’t know what you don’t know!
I am not a psychologist, but in this life, I have been stabbed in my back many times, and I am still alive. Not fully yet but still breathing.
I still make the same mistakes over and over again and keep calling myself an “Idiot”. However, I am glad that I am who I am…naïve! Leastwise, I am able to see with a clear observant eye.
So here’s a popular story:
“There once was a little boy who had a very bad temper. His father decided to hand him a bag of nails and said that every time the boy lost his temper, he had to hammer a nail into the fence.
On the first day, the boy hammered 37 nails into that fence.
The boy gradually began to control his temper over the next few weeks, and the number of nails he was hammering into the fence slowly decreased. He discovered it was easier to control his temper than to hammer those nails into the fence.
Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father the news and the father suggested that the boy should now pull out a nail every day he kept his temper under control.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
‘You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.’”
If not too late, control anger. Stop Stabbing someone else’s feelings like a mischievous child.
I am not here to give anyone any step or advice to help control anger and misconduct. There are a lot of articles online posted by psychologists and professors, someone can read and create some logical connections.
I am here to say that displaced aggression can lead the victim to escape with no return. One way flight ticket.
When you struggle with misguided anger in a romantic relationship, you might use your partner as an emotional punching bag. Unfortunately, this can eat away at the basis of your relationship, eroding trust and diminishing intimacy and closeness.
It’s not just romantic partners who may face the brunt of it though. Family members are often the subject of misplaced anger as well. Your family can be at the center of the storm, simply because they’re there, and it can be easy to lash out at them. Continual anger can cause any type of relationship to break.
Sadly, it’s common for children to be on the receiving end of misplaced anger. People with displaced anger are often harsher with their children, making them the targets of their frustration. Unfortunately, this can have lasting adverse effects on children. https://www.talkspace.com/blog/displaced-anger/
Put yourself in their shoes
Often, it helps to try to put yourself in the receiving end’s shoes. Ask yourself:
- Did they deserve your anger?
- Were they in the wrong place at the wrong time?
- Did they have a bad day and accidentally trigger you?
- Was your anger toward them justified?
Displaced anger is not only in relationships. It can be at work, at school, while driving in heavy traffic, etc.
Can you fix the glass below? You can replace it, but you can never fix it.
Carolina Mom 