Kind words lead us towards improved relationships with other people. It is a way to build and develop mutual respect, which in turn can lead to more successful outcomes and less difficult or stressful communications.
Kids deal with a lot of bullying and stress in their daily lives. Today, my son told me that another kid called him “Disgusting”, so I asked him if he defended himself. My son replied, “Yes, I told him this is not kind, and I moved on.”
I learned from my son something new today, how to be calm and say the right things.
He chose the right words!
The roads of life have brought me to my knees. I am a bit calmer. But sometimes,I say unskillful things to protect myself.
I made a mistake a few weeks ago; it was just a typical day at work when someone said “They don’t like you!”
I could feel the frustration start to rise in me, my calm broke, and I replied, “c’est partagé!”
I wish I didn’t reply! Or maybe I shouldn’t tell her that anyway. I really went down to their level.
I know that I am not perfect.
For this reason, I am trying to raise better, wiser, kinder humans. And I’m so happy that my son is so resilient.
Dialogue:
Adopting a finer method of dialogue based on the situation means that we must get to know the audience before communicating with them, in order to ensure that they receive and understand information successfully.
Avoid interrupting others while talking, avoid insulting, or yelling at others.
Controlling emotions:
Sometimes, we may have to deal with people with difficult personalities. So, we must calm ourselves down, and if we feel that we lost control of our feelings, for example, I prefer to ask their permission for a few minutes and go outside to get some fresh air and calm myself down.
Barriers in Action:
I was reading a book, and the author mentioned that he/she wrote their reactions in a journal. It can also be helpful to read and use those words as a point of conversation, and what we can find may be eye opening.
When we start using more skillful language, it will become easier and more natural with time.
“You” messages:
The message is all about “you” – the other person. A judgment evaluation. If what I want aren’t being met. for example, if I reach out to someone I didn’t talk with him/her for more than a decade, and I don’t receive a reply. Then I start blaming them – again, using the word “you” without realizing that I don’t know their circumstances, then this is “my problem.”
A better way to speak:
The good news is waking up to the fact that our habitual ways and patterns are ineffective is an essential step in interrupting those old patterns and creating new, more-effective habits of speech.
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From now on, I am starting a new pattern of mindful communication with others.
Carolina Mom 