Each time I enter something new in my life, I set a list of goals, actions, and results I expect. Some may be realistic and others may not be.
Everyone has a certain expectation ceiling when it comes to their lives and relationships. But this ceiling of expectations may be the reason for the success or failure of THAT relationship. When the ceiling is high, we hold others more than they can afford and ask them what they cannot do.
So are your expectations in life and relationships too high?
The Magical Thinking:
Yes, I day dream sometimes, and expect things to happen based on my magical thinking. And this is a problem.
The problem of expectation occurs when we expect something to happen without good reasons for that expectation. If I believe that my expectations alone will bring me what I want, I am using magical thinking and setting myself up for disappointment. For example, I love coffee! It makes me happy! I can’t make a cup of coffee just by thinking it into existence; I have to take the necessary steps to make it happen. I have to put the coffee and water in my coffee maker, and push the button. Just expecting my cup of coffee to appear is delusional.
Did you ever send a message to a relative, friend, or someone you care about so much and never receive a response? Days, months, years…but no response. And you still care about them but you are so disappointed.
Disappointment:
Disappointment comes with complex emotions. It could be sadness, regret, despondency, and, more commonly, anger. Learning how to get over disappointment is a key skill in life, and will make things much easier to accept and move on.
Expecting life to always turn out the way you want is guaranteed to lead to disappointment because life will not always turn out the way you want it to.
It doesn’t really mean that we need to give up on dreaming about what we want, and what we desire to accomplish. But we need to be mindful that 50 percent of our dreams may come true, and keep the other 50 percent to yourself to appreciate the freedom and aliveness that you had the opportunity and you tried, and disappointment will be much less painful.
But don’t never ever give up! Keep chasing your dreams and follow your passion.
Carolina Mom 