This morning, I woke my son up and I whispered in his ear, “Happy last day of 2nd grade, I love you.”
Unfortunately, he looked at me and said,”I miss my old school!”. It broke my heart to hear this because it has been a year since we relocated, yet he still can’t seem to forget about his previous school. As his mother, I can relate to his struggle with moving on.
Moving on…is a struggle! I sometimes feel sick when I think about some dear people I lost or decisions I made and regretted. It’s an angry feeling! And I sometimes let it go by praying and crying.
I know that it was my fault. I honestly regret that we relocated. I like my new neighborhood, but I don’t like the year-round school system. And, I don’t want my son to suffer missing some things he loved. I’ve been there and I know how it feels. It was definitely my mistake!
He can’t move on, and I can’t move on. Some beautiful things we lost are irreplaceable.
Making mistakes and bad decisions is a part of being human. Except, when we realize the mistake, it will be too late to fix it. When we think back on some past choices we made, we may realize that some were influenced by circumstances while others were made because we believed they were “good” decisions. I remember a time when I ran away from a problem, only to create an even bigger issue for myself.
I have a story to share about a friend, whom we’ll call Jasmin. She was a 25-year-old who had just moved to the United States and spoke little English. As per her tradition, Jasmin had to live with her conservative family and follow their rules. Her father began looking for a suitable husband for her, but Jasmin was not interested in arranged marriages.
One day, while riding the bus to work, Jasmin met a man named, let’s say “Miles”. Jasmin and Miles went out a few times, They enjoyed each other’s company, but Miles never clearly expressed his intentions. Jasmin was confused about their relationship and whether they were just friends or dating. Since Facebook was the only social media available at the time, they communicated through it. Jasmin liked Miles but the problem is her family. Not like American civilized families. This is a conservative family.
She asked her dad if he would accept her dating or marrying an American man. Unfortunately, her dad’s response was negative and rude, leaving Jasmin with only two choices: run away or marry someone from the community whom she did not know.
I know, for American readers this will sound strange, however, things like this are sadly normal in the Arab world! Love is scary, and young women have to hide it.
Feeling confused and scared, Jasmin accepted someone’s offer, whom she knew from college. She believed he was suitable, and her dad would accept this marriage. However, she failed…failed to be transparent and honest with Miles, causing him to abruptly leave and disappear from her life altogether.
Jasmin realized the gravity of her mistake and attempted to find Miles to apologize and ask for forgiveness. She said, “I was lost and uncertain of which path to take. Please forgive me.” She sent the message to Miles. Unfortunately, it was too late! The message bounced back to her since he deleted his Facebook page.
After 12 years, she discovered that Miles works just a few blocks away from her. She tried to reach out to him once more, but he did not respond. Despite the many changes in their lives, Jasmin was not able to move on. She constantly thinks of him, hoping to see him again.
In conclusion, we all make decisions that we may regret later in life. And Jasmin created a bigger issue in her life, she tried to make her parents feel proud by destroying her life.
worried what her parents and the community will think if she decided to live single for the rest of her life or if she just run away and live her life.
I tell young women, don’t get married just because you want to get married or to run from a problem. Marriage won’t solve your problems. Especially if you get married to the wrong person.
I was reading “The Light We Carry” by Michelle Obama, and in one part I had to stop and highlight. Because she really made a point. She said,” You don’t want to settle down with someone because you’re looking for a breadwinner, or a caregiver, or a parent for your kids, or a rescue from your problems. Those arrangements, in my experience, rarely work out well.”
Now back to our moving on subject, taking care of ourselves is one key to move on.
I know I can’t move on from some events that happened in my past, but I’m trying to take care of myself first and foremost.
Indulge in alllll the self care.
Carolina Mom 