Parent-Child Relationship in Adulthood

The Parent-Child Relationship is one that nurtures the physical, emotional and social development of the child. It is a unique bond that every child and parent can enjoy and nurture. This relationship lays the foundation for the child’s personality, life choices and overall behaviour.This is more during childhood.

How about adulthood?

I didn’t always have the best relationship with my dad. I didn’t grow up around him. Until he sponsored me to come to the US and live with him and his family.

It was hard to adapt to his lifestyle. I came from a very independent lifestyle to him very conservative, strict, and tough.

Him being strict was his way of trying to protect me. For better or for worse.

I remember he used to check my emails, text messages, Facebook page, etc. I struggled explaining to him to STOP, I am an adult.

I was young, in my 20s. Well, to be honest, I didn’t reach adulthood until I turned 30. I made a lot of dumb mistakes during my 20s.

I don’t know if he thought that I was going to bring shame to the family, but he was always in a lookout for a suitable husband. What we call it “arranged marriage”

In our traditions, women don’t really need to meet and date a man before marriage.

Both families talk to each other, agree that the kids will get engaged, and voila… Congratulations! you are engaged! 🤦🏻‍♀️

You should trust you kids! We should trust our kids.

you should allow kids to manage their lives to build mutual respect. You must get used to the fact that you can no longer tell them what to do since they are adults. You should also realize that a healthy parent and adult child relationship is about caring involvement, not directing someone’s behavior.

Today, well into adulthood, I remember him and I pray for him. I lost him back in 2018 due to colorectal cancer. He loved my kids, even though my daughter was only few months old, and we all loved him too.

To anyone struggling with parents, your relationship has seasons just like anything else in life.

You have the power to make things more harmonious and reap all the benefits of a strong bond. To achieve that, you must do something counterintuitive but simple: Lower your expectations. Neither parents nor adult children have to be perfect for the relationship to be satisfying and healthy. With lower expectations, you can break out of childhood dynamics (yours and theirs) and form a bond based on mutual respect as adults.

I pray for you! 🤲

The following is not related to the above article.

Today, I woke up very sick, not able to move at all! I struggled making breakfast for my kids. I was not able to stand or walk or do anything.

After the kids went to school, I managed by being able to go to the nearest urgent care. Flu test was negative, and now I am waiting for the COVID test results.

I came back home and slept for hours. I woke up around 5:00pm, and my phone was stormed by messages. All bad news!

Except, when I looked next to the phone, and on top of my nightstand, there were letters from my kids…wishing me to feel better. 💕

So I thought to share their letters:

Sometimes, I just feel like…whatever I’m doing…I’m doing it for my kids.